He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
