Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
