Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
