i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
