Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize