its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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