You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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