why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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