After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
