FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
