I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
