Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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