Buhtt sex?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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