I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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