There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
