I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
