Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
