Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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