So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
