Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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