like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
