I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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