He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize