Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
