I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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