how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
