I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
