I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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