youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize