so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
