my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
