Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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