fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
