i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I understand Curling. That high.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
