Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Someone came in the potted fern
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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