Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
