Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
