you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
