but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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