Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
