everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
