He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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