I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
