No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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