I'm drive I can fine osifer
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
