sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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