what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
