if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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