I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
