despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
