omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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