Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
