There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
