Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
