Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
