Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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