oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
