I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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