Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
