How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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