My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
